Songs: It Was Big

ItWasBigI wrote this song in 2012 – in a draft e-mail at work – while listening to the album Taylor Swift had released (Red). Everyone has this person, the one that got away…and came back..and got away again..(and came back long after the song was written). The song is a perfect example for a time where I had a lot to say but never did. Originally the song would have been like four more verses, but I had to ‘kill my darlings’ as my friend Chris likes to say. For audio: click!

Here we are, only 15, as comfortable as I have ever been. You stood tall like a man, untouchable – all I’ll ever need / Here we are, 17, your road always seems to come back to me. Years of silence passed, but the magic’s still the same as it used to be. Driving home that night you promised this won’t happen again – but it happened again / And I should’ve known better than to lead you on like this. I should’ve known the safe road was the one less satisfying. We should’ve known better than to jump right in. If I’d known then what I know now, I would turn around. Would I turn around? / All the miscommunication, our timing always has been wrong. All these hard feelings from casually playing along. All these things that you broke, it is nothing like you promised. We lost the best thing, too proud to be honest / Here we are, twentysomething, whatever we had came crumblin’ down. Now you think I walk by like you’re any other stranger in town. But you don’t know air is thick whenever you’re around. The re-runs I keep seeing, how saying ‘Hello’ would break me / And you should’ve known better than to just leave me hanging. You should’ve known the past was supposed to be a lesson. For what it’s worth, I tried for one more conversation. At least now I know, I won’t turn around. I won’t turn.

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